Joan Didion

(and the paused subscriber billing)

Hello - I have paused all subscription billing for a month. Yesterday my novel came out and, coincidentally or not, I got messages all day long that I was losing paid subscribers here. The optimistic version is readers want to buy my book so are saving their pennies for it. The pessimistic is people saw that I have a book out and were reminded that they don’t align with my work anymore and have been meaning to unsubscribe. Either way, I know I will be a bit distracted this month and don’t want anyone to be charged for erratic work. Go lay in the sun with a book, even if it isn’t mine. On a whim, I picked up The White Album by Joan Didion, which I saw on my parents shelf all my life and had never read. In recent years, I identified as an Eve Babitz girl to whom I am devoted, so I kept not reading it. Then, for no good reason other than my bag was heavy and it was slender, I purchased it at Hampstead Waterstones this week and have been reading it in cafes, on the tube, late into the night. How can a woman have such oppressive mental health issues - what we now call intrusive thoughts - and yet write so incredibly precisely about them and everything else they cast their eye on? So, yeah, that feeling (week of my own book release!) that I should burn everything I’ve ever written. But I think that’s a useful thing for any creative to feel every few years. Kind of a champagne bottle smashed against a launched boat by a Queen. Thanks Joan.